


flowers

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, M/M, Major Illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6916183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some say, some flowers only bloom in certain conditions.<br/>For Nagisa, it could never have been more true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	flowers

**Author's Note:**

> to all the people that have made my days  
> \- saz

The small blonde boy smiled, shutting his eyes for a moment. The window was open, and cherry blossom petals were streaming into his hospital room. The fresh spring air skimmed across his face, whipping through his outgrown hair. He had been lonely for the past few days - apart from the constant presence of his doctor and parents, nobody had come to visit him, not even Rei or Haru or Makoto. they were probably too tied up in their own little lives, Nagisa thought. Nobody seemed to care for him any more. He hadn’t been back to school in years since his condition had been fluctuating for ages. There was a tutor who came once a week to teach him things he had missed out on for the past three years of his life, but Nagisa didn't really pay attention, and besides, nothing would really matter. He would die early, and nobody would care; end of story. only one person mattered to Nagisa Hazuki, and only one person would care.

“Sou-chan,” he said, dragging out his words. “You’re late. where have you been?”

As Nagisa opened his eyes, he could see Sosuke crack a small grin before taking a seat in the chair beside the sterilized hospital bed. The older boy was dressed in his black gakuran, with his school bag slung over one shoulder and a stack of books in the other. His teal eyes reflected the light that seeped in through the window, which only made them seem paler than they actually were. Nagisa sat up carefully so that his IV drip wouldn’t be pulled out of his arm.

“Sorry,” Sosuke replied, chuckling slightly. “Teacher held me back for extra cleaning duties. I would have come earlier.”

Nagisa pouted, grumbling. “Stupid teacher. Doesn't she know how important you are to me? I’m probably going to die soon, and there she is, asking my Sou-chan to clean the classroom!”

Sosuke nodded sympathetically. He reached out and pet Nagisa’s fluffy head of hair, making him stop rambling for a second before continuing. He loved visiting the sprightly younger boy, especially since he was confined to the four walls that was his hospital room. After school he would part ways with Rin and take a detour towards the university hospital, and do his homework there before heading home. After Nagisa nearly drowned in the middle of Samezuka’s pool under his watchful eye, he had taken the liberty to visit every day, no matter how tight his schedule might have been.

Until he died, a month and four days after Nagisa’s hospitalisation.

(“You're liars,” the boy sneered. “He didn't die. Sou-chan’s coming; he's on the way.”

Haru and Rin looked at each other, and back at Nagisa. “We're not lying,” Rin said, his voice trembling with both sadness and rage. “He got into a fatal car accident. Can't you just believe that, Hazuki?”

“No, I can’t, because it's not real. Can you two go now? Please?”

Haru immediately stood up and rushed out of the room, followed closely by Rin. They had never seen Nagisa that mad, neither had he ever pushed anyone away before. Nagisa was kind and loving and always welcomed new acquaintances with open arms. After Doctor Hiroshi broke the bad news that Nagisa was to be permanently hospitalised until his condition stabilised for more than six months, he had been even more glum than when he first realised that his illness was limiting whatever he could do.

“I’m sorry, you two,” Hiroshi said, stopping Rin and Haru as they made their way out. “He’s been like this since his parents told him; in a state of disbelief. A case of visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations. No matter how much you try to convince Nagisa, as long as Sosuke exists to him, he exists to all of us, so just… go with it, okay?”)

The wind howled, causing an array of cherry blossoms to scatter onto the floor of the room. Nagisa sighed, dangling his legs off of the bed and reaching for the stand of his IV drip.

“What are you doing?” Sosuke asked as his friend stood up shakily and stumbled towards his wheelchair, panting as he sat down. Nagisa clenched his teeth as he wheeled himself over to the empty space just in front of the window - it took too much effort to move around, and he wasn’t happy. The only reason he wanted to get better was because he wanted to swim with his friends again, and by the looks of it, it wasn’t going to be anytime soon.

“I like to look at the cherry blossom trees at this time of year,” Nagisa sighed. “I don’t really do it when you’re around, because I have so much to talk about usually, but Sou-chan seems sad.”

Sosuke stood up, setting down his bag and books, and walked beside Nagisa. He noticed that there was a large cherry blossom tree right outside Nagisa’s room, and now that spring was ending, it was in full bloom. The clouds moved from in front of the sun and rays of light burst into the room, spilling light across Nagisa’s thin frame. A slight wind shifted the branches of the tree and a few cherry blossoms filtered through the light, making Nagisa’s pale skin seem to regain its rosy tint.

“I want to go back to school,” he muttered. “I want to swim. I want to wear summer yukatas and see the fireworks. I want to see my friends--” He trailed off. Tears the size of large beetles were rolling down his face and onto the chest of his hospital gown. His hands trembled, and he grabbed the armrests of the wheelchair to stop them from moving. Ever since he had been hospitalised, his condition has been deteriorating overall, and sometimes he wondered if all the medication and confinement was actually going to cure him.

Nagisa always had the illness. He had lived with it for a long time, and the worst case scenario when he was seven was staying home to recuperate instead of swimming the relay in the tournament. He hated it, he hated it so much; having to disappoint his teammates only for his selfish wishes of getting better.

The collapsing began on the verge of starting high school, and he could deal with that. Without informing his parents, he increased the dosage of his medication to a dangerously high level so that he could swim with Rei, Makoto and Haru every day. None of them knew about it - until they made their way over to Samezuka and decided to swim a few laps with the rivalling team three years ago.

(All of a sudden, everything went dark, and water rushed into Nagisa’s lungs. His eyes seemed to be glued shut, even with the presence of his goggles. His legs were a ton of bricks, and he flailed helplessly in the water in an attempt to breathe. Nagisa let out a choked cry as his head, for a fraction of a second, went above the pool, only to be dragged downwards again.

Stuck in vertigo, his life flashed before his eyes. From the first time he fell down the stairs in his house to the last heavy dose of medication before swimming at Samezuka, he realized that his life had been governed by his illness, like the vile underworld of a quaint town.

“Nagisa… Nagisa!”

His name was the first thing he heard, like an echo bouncing off the walls of his skull. It came silently at first, then faster, like an approaching racecar that roars loudly while it passes you. The second thing he could sense was a pair of warm hands on his back and around his shoulders, and then the cold floor. Someone was slowly, cautiously setting him down onto the area beside the pool.

Nagisa wasn’t dead yet. He felt a pair of strong and sturdy hands pump his chest, and he vomited out the water in his lungs a few moments later. His friends - both teammates and rivals - looked over him with a glint of distrust in their eyes. Under his own eyelids, tears began to well up. Never in his life had he experienced such a feeling, not even when he was first diagnosed. This was something way ahead of disappointment, ahead of empathy and sadness.

He would never forget the way that his friends’ faces looked, and the way that their backs seemed to be throwing insults at him as he trailed behind them out of the pool area. He would never forget the heavy and burdened feeling he had carried, three years on.)


End file.
